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Merry Christmas asshole. Merry Christmas homophobic, capitalist loving, over privileged, welfare dissing, self centered, dog shit stained station wagon roof driving, silk tie wearing, segregating, honky. Merry Christmas: Fox news watching, fake smiling, rich, real man, oil worshiping, porn addicted, gun humping, market watching, Christian racist, hypocrite. Merry Christmas friend shooting, family neglecting, cat hitting, Chick Filet eating, Duck Dynasty TEVOing, fake breasted bleach-blond prostitute fucking, tax break receiving, business venerating, war loving, government hating, neighbor watching, Denis Miller, Bill O’Riley, Glen Beck, Vladimir Putin, foursome fantasizing, flag waving, fascist. Merry Christmas asshole.

You’ve had quite a year. And you’ve been such a good boy little boy, I got you some real special Christmas presents. First off , for Santa, I’ve left a tall frosty glass of Edward Snowden with a big fat Obamacare cookie for you to munch on. If you take a look under the tree you’ll find some other special presents. I got you a shiny red gay marriage bicycle with some Occupy toy soldiers and an endless supply of Pussy Riot dolls. If you look further you’ll see a yummy Noam Chomsky candy cane and a big fat legalized Marijuana football. Also a beautiful and delicious Rachel Maddow, Elizabeth Warren, Kim Gordon fruitcake. And if you’re really really good you just might get that Official Red Rider, 200 shot, range model pump action Miley Cyrus air riffle.

So Happy Holidays asshole. Enjoy it while it lasts We’ll still be here in **** to fill your year with real fairies of real love and real dance and plenty of noise to wake you from your deep lost sleep.

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from Fuck it. Be nice (and other poems​)​., released October 2, 2014

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Schwervon! Shawnee, Kansas

Schwervon! is a two piece American rock band born on the Lower East Side of New York City. Nan Turner (Nan & The One Night Stands) plays drums. Matthew Roth (Major Matt Mason USA) plays guitar. They both sing. Their band name is taken from the warped abbreviation of an urban slang, meaning: To do something well in one’s own way or in a unique manner, usually involving members of the opposite sex. ... more

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